High Toll-erance

Indonesia Prattler savored the joy of the yearly "mudik" tradition of Indonesians just recently, and on our way, we came across a good-looking lad whose charms are nicely kept inside a glorious tollbooth. The somewhat flirtatious gentleman wished that we would not divulge his real name and merely gave the permission for us to use his initials for this rather rushed interview. Enjoy Ms. Brandy's amazingly amusing encounter with one of the city's most eligible bachelors, CP.

How long have you worked as a toll booth executive?
About a year and a half. I wouldn't say I'm an executive, though. My work is pretty much hands-on. I don't like being classified.

Ah, pardon my ignorance Sir.
No problem. And um, please, don't call me 'Sir'. I'm not even 29.

We understand that there were changes in the toll fare. What are your opinions on the matter?
I don't quite get what the fuss is all about, really. To me, there are worst things that the people should be protesting against and take actions at. This is just a small thing. We need Jakartans to focus.

How do you see Jakarta's worsening traffic?
Well from where I'm sitting now, it is quite bad. Therefore people need the toll road more than ever these days, and that's where I came in.

How do you feel about what you are doing?
You would never imagine how gratifying it is to be sitting here in this booth, receiving money straight from the toll road users. I know it might sound pretty silly, but I love seeing the smile on their faces whenever they exit the toll road which usually means they're already close to their respective destinations. But to tell you the truth, I loved the old system much better, when I sit on the entrance booths and giving out entry tickets.

Why?
Because seeing people's reliefs after being stuck in the traffic for hours brings peace to my soul. It's like I'm their savior. I'm Superman! Ha ha!

Wow, I bet that's quite a feeling.
Indeed. Especially when it comes to the ladies. It's always nice to see pretty faces smile than frown. Although, you know, I like how today's girls pout. I find them sexy.

Ah, speaking of women, you are literally one of the few very eligible bachelors in the fast lane. How do you divide work and romance?
To me it's all about professionalism when it comes to work. I might work in the fast lane, but romance-wise, I'm pretty aloof. My family says I'm too selective. Well I guess it's how you perceive 'love' in general. To me, love should be the opposite of work so when the time comes to merge them, it would be a perfect fit.

What do you consider a dream life?
Oh, do you mean the one I'm living already?

Well we... er... okay let's rephrase the questions: are there things in life you're still after?
I guess... not that many. It's probably hard to understand for most people, but to me life's good already. I have a fantastic job which not many people can do, a private office at the heart of the city, and easy access to women-watching. What more can a guy ask? Ha ha!

What are your opinions on Trans Jakarta Projects that are accused on being the cause of the city's traffic jams?
To tell you the truth, I again don't really see what the fuss is all about. These people never even try to see the lighter side of things even when they have so many options. There are alternative roads leading to even the most exclusive parts of the city like my neighborhood, for instance. So to me, rather than biting each other's tails and pointing fingers at one another, Jakartans should just try to take things one step at a time and re-examine what the core of the problem is all about. In the end, they are also the ones who are going to benefit from the facility. Why all the protest now? I don't understand it.

Are you a Trans Jakarta user?
I don't believe in mass-transportation. To me, having to commute with strangers every single day is just too mind-boggling. I prefer to ride my very own motorbike. I belong to a motorbike brotherhood.

A Harley Davidson?
That's for peasants. I despise its awful sounds. To me, my matic scooter is the best.

Do you have a dream car?
Lady, I've been doing what I'm doing for quite some time now. I know what I see everyday and if you really think I'm getting a car... let's just say I don't really want to take the toll (road).

We Are Still Here

Dear readers,

Having been buried with our less glamorous work than those featured in this socialite blog, we would like to apologize deeply for our temporary hiatus. However, since everyone is away for the Lebaran Holiday and we have the office all to ourselves... and tons of successful faces in pictures we took since months ago, Ms. Brandy and Mr. Scotch are back on Indonesia Prattler.

Coming soon in November: The Fantabulous Party People. Our very own society page, with vivid coverage to the most exclusive society parties around Jakarta, who's who among these distinguished figures and their quest to deliver the maximum entertainment. Also, don't miss the Top 10 It Parties according to MisFortune Magazine -our media partner (yet to be launched).

Happy Holidays to you all!

A Long Wait for Passengers

Former chicken noodles vendors turned motorbike taxi drivers Ahmad and Khairul are seen fighting their droopy eyes waiting for passengers around Barito area. These natives Kemanggisan need to have at least 25 passengers per day to cover their families' needs, by using only one motorbike.

Ahmad and Khairul have known each other since they were infants. "We always got each other's back", said Khairul while biting a piece of green chili to accompany a big bite of baked rice wrapped in a piece of banana leaf. "When the rumor of rat meat was being used in our chicken noodles spread out, our customers left us and with very little money we are financing this baby boy together and trying to make money out of it", Ahmad later added while lovingly stroking the charcoal colored motorbike's seat. These two perfectly tanned individuals needed to submit a staggering 500,000 rupiahs for the down payment and another staggering 300,000 rupiahs every month for financing the exclusive two-wheeled beauty. A shocking value to be spent for only one item, indeed.

These two hard-workers have their own special way in attracting passengers; they touch the individual qualities of every passerby they meet, and steal their hearts. While other motorbike taxi drivers often times pointing their index fingers to the air indicating their availability to take passengers to their desired destinations, Ahmad and Khairul prefer to smile and point at their perfectly shined motorbike with their palms facing up and doing the please movement. Politeness is the key to get passengers. "This method has proven to work", exclaimed Khairul, now while consuming a piece of fried banana fresh from a pond of black, thick and hot cooking oil from a nearby snack vendor. However, their biggest challenge is, of course, they need to share one motorbike. "We have our own unique way to solve that problem, we let the passengers decide!", they shouted passionately with the sweetest grins on their faces. Ahmad and Khairul explained that each time a passenger comes and asks for their service the passenger will be asked to choose between them two to be the driver of the motorbike . "This is the only fair way to do it, and this makes us dress up to the nines everyday", Ahmad said. A very unique way, indeed. This explains the ever shiny balding scalp of Khairul that is polished with 50 cc of Mandom product every morning and the astonishing flat-front khakis Pasar Baru-made that Ahmad wears everyday to their work place, the Barito junction.

Around the high noon tea time like this is when the time goes very slow for Ahmad and Khairul. "I figure that people are busy in their offices while students are busy with their classes while the lazy-asses are sleeping in their huts, that's why there aren't so many people wondering around looking for means of transportation around this time of the day", stated Khairul. "This is when we catch-up with what happened with our kids, wives or life in general", Khairul added. They share stories as if they were soulmate; laughter and friendly punches on the chins indicating the solid friendship.

Ahmad and Khairul's friendship is the perfect case of unselfish behavior in a workplace. Though sharing a motorbike to make ends meet appears to be impossible for some, Ahmad and Khairul pull it off. They set the perfect example of sharing is caring, and we need to follow their footsteps.

Love Ride

Since its first debut on the streets of Jakarta in 1961, the Bemo apparently still maintains its existence in the metropolitan. Its sleek curvy hood and its archetypal lamp case immediately sets the Bemo apart from any other means of transport in Jakarta. Its scintillating design still stands out amidst the wave of modern vehicle and the fact that the city's youngsters today prefer the angkot as their means of transports, while only the distinguished kind prefers this classic three-wheeled vehicle.

"It brings a lot of memories back to my mind. Me and my wife met in a Bemo in 1970. We fell in love at first sight when our knees touched," says Rokhidi, a loyal Bemo rider.

Dudung, a Bemo driver pointed out clearly why he still prefers to drive the antique transport: "Bemo is one vehicle that was NEVER produced in this country. The spareparts came all the way from Japan... or Germany... I don't quite remember. This is an ultra-exclusive vehicle that needs to be preserved."

The true origin of the now-decreasing-in-population Bemo remains a mystery. Some of the city's creme de la creme told Indonesia Prattler that Bemos arrived as a gift from the Japanese government to support the GANEFO (Games of New Emerging Forces) back in sixties, while some argued that the Indonesian government acquired them from German.

"It is not important where it came from. To me, the Bemo is like gold. I could never let anybody take this baby away from me," Dudung pats his Bemo affectionately. This bearded gentleman cruises the city everyday and aims at nothing but the pleasure of aiding people to get to their desired destination. "Riding the Bemo is truly a romantic experience. I couldn't remember how many lovebirds met on my Bemo. So to me it's not just hard labour. It's a labour of love," Dudung said with a smile.

The exclusivity of this stylish conveyance can be observed in its rareness. Dudung was utterly passionate when Indonesia Prattler inquired about this. "You see, nowadays the Bemo lovers exist only in some parts of the city. My friends and I are the Bemo afficionados from Bendungan Hilir. We maintain good contacts with our alliance at Northern Jakarta and Bogor as well. It's important for us, especially ones who are still very active in Bemo-transport business, to keep updated about the newest spareparts and other Bemo-related matters," he said.

Lovers like Rokhidi have their own opinions about Bemo. "Today's vehicles are impersonal. Aside from the knee-touching and the face-to-face seating arrangements, what I love about Bemo is its subtle rocking sensation. It is quite different from the Bajaj, as you can share this with six other persons in one sitting. C'est l'experience extraordinaire!" exclaimed Tukiman, a Bemo fanatic.

What about the government's aim of deleting Bemo?

"I do not recall there was any 'deletion' of Bemos. They were only trying to lessen the pollution caused by the Bemo's emition, and we Bemo enthusiasts are working on it as well. After all, if they can manage to discover new technology for the new gasoline-free Bajaj, then I think there should be no problem in inventing new technology for the Bemo. And it won't be long for people to start appreciating the Bemo's co-existence with the Busway, the Monorail and the Waterway ," Dudung said, with an optimistic look in his eyes.

We shall wait, then.

The Public Gardeners

Amidst the ever heavy traffic of metropolitan streets, Burhan is fulfilling his duty of watering the city plants to keep the city green. Accompanied by his colleague Rahmat, who drives the gigantic six-wheeled vehicle, they stroll around the area that was once well-known for the wealth of its residences in the southern part of Jakarta.

"I tried so hard to get this job, I went through series of tests," Burhan says with tears streaming down his eyes memorizing the unusual activities he needed to perform during the one full week of tests.

Burhan wakes up everyday at dawn, waiting for his partner Rahmat at the corner of touch alley nearby his beautifully hand-built 4x4 meters fortress. "I want my kids to inherit this fortress of mine in the future," he says even before Indonesia Prattler initiated asking questions regarding his now eight year-old home. It shows how much he loves his stunning pile of wood. However, Burhan is yet to be married, he glazes a fine-looking young lady whom also a dedicated pre-paid cellphone credit staff across his home; "someday I am going to marry her," he says while puffing his clove cigarette, "but first, I need to be brave to go there and talk to her," he says again while absenting shred of cloves from his mouth.

Burhan is a Tangerang native, Indonesia Prattler has suspected it due to his consistent ultra-high tone voice every time he articulates his thoughts. He said it was a tough trip for a 16 year-old boy riding the D-01 bus from his origin to the most southern tip of Jakarta. Due to the insufficient budget, the only form of food he could afford to purchase for his snack during the entire three-hour trip was fried peanuts. "I could never forget how suffering it was," Burhan says "but now, I can afford a pack of nasi padang for lunch," he says again while giggling. It is an enormous progress, indeed.

As often as he possibly could, Burhan wears the same outfit he wore the first time he arrived in Jakarta each time he is performing his watering duty. He said that the trousers were made by his step mother, the teared back-pocket of his jeans trousers caused by his father emotional waft; he was crying, begging and pulling his trousers to keep him from going away. "I tears my heart out every time I see this ripped back-pocket, but it also encourages me to work hard so I can send money home to help my father's cricket ranch to grow," he adds while turning his head away, hiding his watery eyes. When Indonesia Prattler asked about his pink t-shirt, he stated that he does not have any good reminiscence about the 100% cotton piece of clothing, he embezzled the t-shirt from a nearby store, "it's just a reminder that I shouldn't do the thing I've done to get this t-shirt anymore because I have a legit job now," he says. He later added that the word in front of the t-shirt makes his love to it grows infinitely, "it encourages me to be sure, to be faithful all the time," he states while pointing at the word Yankee on the t-shirt, which he surely convinced that it is a misspelled Indonesian word of yakin.

His colleague Rahmat has arrived, driving the huge water tank vehicle. When he was asked about his career path and if he has any plans to excel it in the department he belongs now, he answered with an even higher tone, "as long as these two hands of mine are still strong enough to hold this hose, and as long as my buddy Rahmat is still able to drive this truck, we will always be the city's dynamic-duo, watering grasses and plants on every single boulevard and avenue," Burhan says with shaky voice, describing his noble intention of making Jakarta a beautiful metropolitan.

"Show us green, and we'll wet 'em!", both of them shout as if it was their motto.

How could Jakarta ever repay these heroes?